The most obedient child any mother could ask for – Part 6

“He fasted by day, prayed by night and was the most obedient child any mother could ask for.” – Asma bint Abu Bakr talking to the tyrant Hajjaj about her son Abdullah ibn Zubayr.

This was the great sahabi the imam spoke about at the halaqah. Abdullah ibn Zubayr is famously known for his bravery, and to this the imam added his other two qualities; piety and eloquence, emphasising the parenting he received at the core of these beautiful traits.

Lots of gems to be taken from this sahabi’s life but couple of things stuck out for me, mainly because whenever I listen to talks, I am now programmed to hear them as a mother, so I can hear about something I already know about, but I take from it a new lesson because I think about it going beyond my own understanding to my children’s, inshaAllah.

As a seven year old boy Abdullah ibn Zubayr went to the Prophet (saw) and said (paraphrased): “I was born into Islam and was born Muslim but today I give bayah to you, O Prophet. I will follow and listen to you in good times and in bad times.” The imam mentioned his age, highlighting the maturity of such a young child. I was thinking, this is the child of the mother who also had said to her father that she wanted to take shahadah. Her father said she could do it in front of him, but she was adamant she wanted to go to the Prophet (saw) herself. She was about 13 years old then.

When Hajjaj came to fight Abdullah ibn Zubayr, he didn’t flee Makkah with fear but stood for the Haqq. As did his mother when Abu Jahl came looking for her father and asked her questions. She didn’t start crying and tremble with fear in front of the most powerful and horrible man around, she stood and answered with wisdom and confidence, which resulted in her being slapped.

My children don’t look anything like me and a lot of their personality traits are also like their father’s – sometimes I feel a bit funny about it, I hardly see anything of me in them.

Tonight I was thinking, it doesn’t matter who Abdullah ibn Zubayr looked like, his father or mother, what matters is what he was brought up with – the qualities his parents instilled in him, the qualities that his proud mother spoke about after his death.

The imam said if we want to see obedience in our children, we need to look at our own relationship with our parents and our relationship with Allah, making these better will help bring up obedient children.